Vegan Week

From next Friday, I’m going to have a strictly vegan week. I’m a pretty regular meat-eating, cheese loving person but I had the sudden urge to see how a vegan diet would make me feel physically and mentally. It might be a bit hard but I’m pretty creative when it comes to food so it definitely won’t be boring food - I will just have trouble adapting to life without dairy. It should be good, I foresee a lot of mushrooms in my future. I can also make a lot of my Mum’s vegetable curries which are all vegan - she doesn’t use any ghee or yoghurt. Yum that actually makes me really excited! Food I know I love.

Weigh-in 17 Feb 2012

This morning I expected to gain weight. I didn’t want to, but I told myself to face reality and accept it and work hard to change it.

Well I actually lost weight! I’m now 85.9kg (189lbs so I’m finally out of the 190’s!). So that’s a total loss of 2.6kg since Jan 6th which seems so small… But it’s better than nothing at all. That’s almost 6lbs.

I thought about what I was in January 2011 - 90.1kg. I’m nowhere near that anymore so I shouldn’t feel too badly!

I hate the way my mind works sometimes

I start well. I’m full of motivation and I’m determined to fulfill my goals. I have a plan, I’m disciplined. I remind myself every moment why I’m doing this. I fight through pain, I reward my perseverance with healthy food and lots of water. I feel good, I feel strong, I feel healthy and full of life.

So why does my mind feel the need to sabotage me?

I have to fight through it. This week has been hard because I was sick with gastro for a few days and there was a lot of social situations involving food. I want to avoid that sort of thing at the moment because it’s hard! That damn voice in the back of my mind just loves to justify bad behavior. I am very good at convincing myself to do the wrong thing.

But I don’t want to be overweight. I don’t want to be a fat bride or a fat mother, because it’s not healthy. My self esteem is great, I love my body and I’m going to love it at every stage in my life. But I’m sick of making it feel bad! I don’t like feeling bloated or sickly or lacking in energy. I HATE feeling like a failure or that I can’t do it or that it’s too late to change.

Well fuck you brain. I’m not taking your shit anymore. I want this, and I’m doing this, and you better shut the fuck up if you can’t be constructive. I’m strong, I’m determined, I will change this!

Not feeling well today!

Late last night I started feeling a bit rough and this morning wasn’t any better so I went to the doctors and I have a mild tummy bug but nothing terribly debilitating. So no work for me, I just did some shopping and prep for tomorrow and just before I made Nutella Panna Cotta… it’s currently setting in the fridge in two beautiful glasses that I also acquired today. I put the glasses on a slant so it will set diagonally and I will fill the rest of the glass with vanilla bean panna cotta and it will look really cool. I will take a photo later!